My life is empty

by Peter Purushotham
(Toronto, Canada)

After 37 years of married life, my wife divorced me for another man; yes there was infidelity involved in her life, and when confronted, she took the easy way out to see her lawyer and filed for divorce. I gave her half of my house-worth by remortgaging the house. She took 120,000 dollars with her.

It has been two years now and I was devastated, but mostly through my prayers I was able to put her off my mind, relying on the company of my two sons. Then came another heartbreak, one of them took off to Australia, and the other is on the verge of moving out to his own apartment. I am left alone to myself in my big house.

I will be 70 next month and so far in good shape, looking after the house. I need some help. Thought of selling the house and moving to an apartment. It scares me to make the change, as I have lived here for over 30 years. The apartment with one bedroom I looked for, looks desolate and phobic with just one bedroom. I felt locked in as if in a jail. On the other hand, my house is bright with plenty of sunshine coming in from all around the house, the kitchen is bright with windows, the bathrooms have windows, and if I need to go out to the church or grocery shopping, my car is just within reach in the garage. In the apartment, I have go all the way to the basement level to access it. I weighed the pros and cons and decided to stay put.

My fear is what if something should happen to me? It could be days or weeks before someone finds my decomposed body rotting in the house. Please someone help me please ! please ! please ! Anyone can write to me at (purush at rogers dot com), and mail me with your comments.

Thank you all,

Peter


Editor's note: Peter, I am sorry to hear about your situation. But, that's reality, kids move out after a certain age, and without a life partner, it could get quite lonely. But you are in relatively good health, and that's a blessing.

Have you considered renting/buying a more spacious town home in a seniors community, instead of a one-bedroom? That way, you wouldn't have to worry about maintenance, and you may find some like-minded company to spend your time with. If you have already decided to continue to stay in your house, you can consider hiring a part-time or full-time household help, and maybe take part in other local community services that may be available for seniors.

Good luck in whatever you decide, and thank you for taking time to write here.