My Life

by Priyanka
(India)

Dear all,

Today I am sharing my tensions and tragedy with you all. I am a simple, fun loving girl who used to live life happily with all friends, relatives and parents. One day my parents decided to get me married to a right person.. so they pressurized me to marry. I agreed as I couldn't see my parents in tension. My father then selected a guy who belongs to the MP state; he is from a village, and my father considered him because of his position - when my father was of this guy's age, he used to be in same condition as this guy currently is.

But when I got married to this guy, from first night he started commenting on me with words like, I have to oblige your face for my whole life. I thought why was he saying this to me - why? Then later on after few days, he started blaming me for little things, like utensils; he started saying things like - I don’t know what quality of utensils you choose, why this utensil has cracked, and so forth.

One day when he was in the office, I was coming from the market after purchasing some household items like vegetables, and he called me and started taunting me with comments like - you have visited some place today, as if he was doubting me.

My husband wouldn't give me money easily for my personal expenses, and his face changes whenever I ask for that. After sometime he started blaming me by saying things like you are not getting job, at least you have to get a job for your own expenses. I did finally get a job of my own.

If this is life after marriage, then I will not suggest anyone to get married and start a new hell of a life. I don’t know what I really got after marriage; only thing I got is tensions and destruction in relationship.

My husband’s parents used to ask their son regarding all those points which can create confusion in our relationship, and final lead to a big fight between us. What they get from this, I don’t know.

Everyone takes me as an enemy, and torture me by their direct or indirect actions. As I came to know, I have never seen life like this before. This life is like hell. I don’t know what God wants from me, why he is supporting those people who are trying to close all my doors of happiness, and play games as they like. God, I am alone and I have to face all in this world. But how will I get some confidence to do this?

My husband suspects me a lot, he thinks I am manipulating him by saying I am going to office, and asks where I go from office. I know his thinking is negative, he will think wrong about me and not believe the truth.

As of now, nothing is going well in my life. In share market also I am bearing losses. I want to do SAP certification, for that I need 3 lakhs rupees, but as of today I don’t have this much money, and my husband never liked me to study and go further. What can I do? I don’t want to beg from parents, they already have given so much I can't ask again. Who will help me?

While searching for so many gurus, one has suggested me to cut off with all my friend circle; I did but there is no change in my husband's behavior. He wants me to cut off with parents also, how can it be? Tell me God, shall I cut off with my parents for that person who is not having confidence in me, who has cheated my parents already, and now wants me to be his servant?

Right now I have lost my present job too; from next month I have to join another company too. What to do.. I am confused. There is no one in my life who can suggest me good idea and help me out. Can anyone suggest me any good idea?