WTF!!! I need help!!

by Fernando Perez
(Los Angeles, CA)

Considered joining Marines to channel my anger

Considered joining Marines to channel my anger

I am always angry! For as long as I can remember I have been a very angry person; almost any little annoyance will upset me, and I will not let it go until I can do something about it - be it negative or positive. In high school I decided that I would join the Marines and channel my anger through by becoming a drill instructor. That never happened.

After that I never dealt with my anger and it's been building up inside of me ever since, and it also has led to depression that gets worse with time.

Recently it was brought to my attention that I've been directing my anger and frustration at my girlfriend and daughter. To be honest, I never noticed it. But as I've had time to think it over, I see that I was. Now what I am seeking is advice on how to deal with all this pent-up anger and aggression, without directing it at the ones I love most!

Editor's note:

Hi Fernando, You did take your first step well by realizing that your anger is a problem, and by looking for solutions to your anger issues. I commend you just for that, because not many even get to that point. Since you have made a successful step forward, I have no doubt that you will be successful in reaching your anger-free goals.

As to specific ideas, have you figured out why little things upset you? Locating the cause of your anger is the next step in finding a permanent solution. This page may give you an insight into that matter:

You are right that anger leads to a variety of problems, including depression, not to mention the hurt it causes your loved ones, and strained relationships.

Along with suggesting tips to express anger effectively, and ways to control anger, we also point to various professional resources - from anger books to hypnosis to anger classes - that can help you get past your anger issues. And as I said, I am sure you are well on your way.

I wish you good luck, and thanks for writing here. -Shan

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